In Which Kia Raises The Bar

Welcome to Part Three of my five-part series on Pet Battles and You: Everything You’ve Always Wanted To Know About Pet Battling And Were Too Embarrassed To Ask.  You can read parts one and two here and here.

Now that you know all about your adorably furry and/or scaly and/or winged companions, it’s time to make them All Growns Up!

Leveling battle pets to 25 is exactly the same process that leveling a toon to 25 (or 50, or 73, or 90) is – you watch your health bar, go kill things, collect your XP, and repeat.  Blizzard made the battle pet leveling path even easier because it follows a regular character leveling path.  Not sure where to go next for higher-level pets?  Ask yourself where you would take an alt next.  It’s almost certainly the right answer.  Or go look at this page at  I told you they were my favorite people.  Or scroll down to the bottom of this post, where I’ve put a handy-dandy quick-reference chart JUST for your convenience.

Now, we all know that leveling alts can be a tedious… okay, downright mind-numbingly boring… occupation.  How do you (lolololol) battle through?

Here are two different approaches:

Solo Pet Leveling

Leveling pets solo (only using one pet per battle) is by FAR the fastest way to level a pet, but only pets that have significant damage reduction and healing abilities can actually accomplish it expeditiously.  The key to fast solo pet leveling is using pets that can survive three to four battles in a row.  Blizzard has given us a Beautiful Magic Button…

…but you can only push it every EIGHT minutes.

(/rant You will soon come to realize that eight minutes is A FREAKING ETERNITY.  /rant off)

The slowest part of pet leveling is constantly having to fly back to civilization in search of a trainer to heal up your pets.  Therefore, if you want to solo level a pet, you need to pick one that can heal itself during battles.  If your pet can last three battles, you are going to be very close to the 8-minute mark, and then you can click your Beautiful Magic Button and continue on your merry, homicidal way.

Pets that are great at soloing:  Crabs (I soloed my Strand Crab from level 10 to level 25 in about four hours), Turtles, Bears, some Dragonkin (the Celestial Dragon is an ass-kicker), some Elementals (if it looks like a miniature resto druid in tree form, it probably has good heals), and Toads.

Generally speaking, if your pet LOOKS like a player class that does really great tanking or healing or a Tenacity hunter pet, it probably IS a good solo pet battler.

Pets that REALLY REALLY suck at soloing: Exotics – pets that have strengths against hard-to-find families like Humanoid and Magic.  Some Elementals (the ones that look like crystals), because their hardest-hitting abilities also damage themselves.  Undead pets in general, because they are vulnerable to Critters and CRITTERS ARE EVERYWHERE.

If you want to just zerg pets merrily along as quickly as possible, here’s some tips:

1) Fight with your strengths.  How much XP you get for a pet is entirely dependent on the comparative level of the pet you are fighting, NOT what family it belongs to.  You do not get extra XP for fighting things that are hard to beat because they are strong against you.  If your level 10 Panther Cub battles a level 12 Squirrel and a level 12 Moth, he will get the same amount of XP for both of the wins.  However, he is going to have a MUCH easier time beating the Squirrel and will finish the battle faster and with more health.

2) Fight level 4 or 14 pets until your pet is at least levels 6 or 16.  Usually, my approach is to always fight battles with pets at least one level higher than I am, since you get more XP from battling higher level wild pets.  However, at levels 5 and 15, wild pets get to add a friend.  The cost in XP of fighting a lower wild pet is still far less than the cost of having to defeat a 2nd and 3rd pet.

3) Keep emergency backup at your level.  You do still have 2 other pet slots, so keep the bench warm with appropriate-level pets.  Remember that a pet must live until the end of the battle to receive any XP; a dead pet gets squat.  In a desperate pinch, it’s much better to bring in a closer and take a hit to your XP gain than it is to take that extra hit that kills you and gets you nothing.  And if it DOES come down to that pinch, you don’t want to find that your level 22 Dragonkin that’s fighting a level 24 Bandicoon is getting backed up by a white level 5 Rabbit.

Team Pet Leveling

Leveling a 2 or 3 pet team will feel 2 or 3 times slower than soloing.  That’s because… it is.  The amount of XP any individual pet on your team will gain is a function of how many pets were used (AND SURVIVED) in the battle and the relative level of the wild pet compared to you.  For example, at level 1, a pet will gain 50 XP if it defeats a level 1 pet by itself.  A team of 2 level 1 pets that both hit the wild pet and survive until the end of the battle will get 25 point each.  Still, even though leveling a 3 pet team is three times slower than soloing, you emerge at the end with three maxed pets instead of one.  In the end, it all works out to the same amount of time invested.

It just feels painfully, grindingly slow.  Here’s some tips to make it bearable:

1) Don’t stack families on your team.  When wild pets add friends, they are not necessarily from the same family as the original wild pet.  A Rabbit might bring along a Moth or a Crab to your pet battle party.  You’ll maximize your chances of having a pet that is strong against one of the enemy pets if they are not all from the same family.  If push comes to shove and you’re in a corner, stack Beasts.  You are more likely to see Critters than any other pet.

2) Whenever possible, fight pets AT LEAST 2 levels higher than yours.  The loss of XP that you suffer by using three pets in the battle is alleviated to some degree by the gain you get from fighting higher level pets.

3) Equalize pet health loss.  Have each pet in your team kill one pet on the other team, and then substitute the next pet.  Don’t keep any one pet in for longer than the time it takes to kill their opposite number.  Remember that you still have that (AGONIZINGLY LONG) eight-minute cooldown on your Beautiful Magic Button, so to expedite leveling, your team needs to survive at least three battles in a row.  Also remember that a pet ONLY needs to be in the battle for one round (makes and receives an attack) in order to qualify for XP.  If necessary, put the your terribly beat-up low-health pet in for just one round and immediately yank it out again.

3) Deploy with wisdom.  If the enemy sends an Aquatic, send in your Flying pet.  This should be a no-brainer.  If you don’t have anything that is strong against the enemy pet, at the very least don’t send in something that is WEAK against it, for the love.  Unless, of course, you don’t have any other choice, in which case – best of luck.

4) Press the SKIP button.  It’s almost always more of an overall health loss to substitute out a stunned, trapped, or transformed pet because the enemy pet will get extra hits on the way out AND the way back in.  Just hit the skip button to skip your turn and take your medicine.

5) Don’t be afraid to wave the white flag.  You can ALWAYS retreat from a battle with absolutely no penalty whatsoever, save the health that your pets have lost.  If you have a pet die on you, it’s better to retreat and keep the whole team at the same XP level than to continue with the battle and end up with a pet dragging behind.

Where To Level Your Pets

Whenever possible, try to stay within spitting distance of a Stable Master so that you can augment your Beautiful Magic Button with a very quick trip back to a person who will heal your pets for you for the very low price of 10s.

(Seriously, Blizzard?  I have to confirm EVERY TIME that I’m SURE I want to be spending TEN WHOLE SILVER?  EVERY TIME??  SERIOUSLY?!!?!  GAH.)

Generally speaking, every major town will have a Stable Master.  Not always, but usually.  There are some places where Stable Masters are extremely few and far between, and strangely enough, Pandaria is the worst offender there.  You would think that since it’s the expansion that brought us pet battling, you wouldn’t be able to move four feet without tripping over a Stable Master, but sadly that is not the case.

Now then, that handy-dandy pet level guide I mentioned: Pet Level

(Yes, yes, okay… it’s a PDF.  I’m SORRY, I totally fail at tables in WordPress.  Sue me.)

My Top 5 Favorite Leveling Spots

5)  Skald, in the northeastern corner of Blade’s Edge Mountains, just south of the Crystal Spine.  There’s a sweet spot there that has a bazillion Scalded Basilisk Hatchlings all piled on top of each other.  If you’re careful you can easily level 18-20 without moving more than 20 feet in any direction.  Unfortunately, there is no Stable Master within easy flying distance, so you’ll have to be VERY careful.  Or else spend a lot of time waiting on your Beautiful Magic Button to go off cooldown.

4) The Starting Zones – ALLLL of them.  It’s all but impossible to go more than about five feet without tripping over a pet that you can battle.  Plus, you can make loops around the central towns like Goldshire and stay close to Stable Masters.

3) Valley of the Four Winds.  My favorite part about Pandaria wild pets is that very frequently they come in packs of three and four.  Besides the ramped-up cuteness factor, that is VERY convenient.  And Halfhill is fairly centrally located, so it’s not terrible to get back to the Stable Master for a quick heal.

2) Northern Feralas.  For leveling 10-12, Feralas can’t be beat.  The pets are plentiful and you can usually find seventeen of them wandering within ten feet of Veir, the Stable Master at Dreamer’s Rest.

1) Northern Felwood.  I LOOOOVE Northern Felwood for mid-level pet leveling.  There are TWO easily-accessible Stable Masters (Nalesette Wildbringer in Talonbranch Glade and Hurah in Whisperwind Grove).  There are squillions of pets and they are all level 14.  I sometimes will take pets as low as level 11 and hang out there until my pets are big enough to swoop up to Winterspring for the last couple of levels before heading to Blade’s Edge.

The Absolute WORST Places To Pet Level

5) Jade Forest.  There are no Stable Masters at all in Jade Forest and the pets are very much intermingled with mobs that will aggro.  PRO TIP: If you are leveling pets in Cata or Pandaria zones, the mobs are still high enough to yoink you out of your pet battle if they run into you.  If that happens, the wild pet you are battling will be restored to full health – but YOURS won’t be.  Do yourself a favor and clear out the baddies before you go into battle.  Just don’t use AOE!  You’ll hit the pet!

4) Shadowmoon Valley and Blasted Lands.  You will spend far, far more time flying around LOOKING for pets than you will actually FIGHTING them.

3) Swamp of Sorrows.  Ugghhh.  Too.  Many.  SNAKES.  /shudder

2) Undercity and Silvermoon City.  Yeah, I know that sounds stupid, but you need to tame pets in the capital cities to get Big City Pet Brawler.  If you are a die-hard Alliance like myself, you have NO idea how to get around Undercity.  I finally managed to find something that might have been the door and swooped in on a Lost of Lordaeron wandering within a close enough distance before I got swarmed over by the guards.  Oh, and guess what?  You still can’t fly in the Outland races’ starting zones.  FYI.

1)  Storm Peaks.  In Storm Peaks, the pets, specifically the Arctic Fox Kit, only come out when it snows.  Guess what it never does in Storm Peaks?  Storms.

Next up – Throwdowns With Pet Tamers!  All the skinny you need to know about where they are, what they’ll bring to bear, and how to beat them down.

Posted in ACTUALLY Serious, Pet Battles FTW, WILD KERMIT FLAIL | 4 Comments

In Which Kia Builds An Army

Since I know that yesterday’s post got all of you all hot and bothered and ready to pet battle, we’ll forge ahead and talk about what to do now that you’ve tasted the sweet, sweet ambrosia.  You’ve got a more usable UI, you’ve made friends with your trainer, and you’ve won your first double-handful of battles.  You are officially addicted!

Now what?  What do I do, I hear you saying, to keep this beautiful stream of adrenaline rushing to my brain?!

Why, you need to build some teams!  Let’s talk about the pets themselves.

Most everyone knows at this point that a pet comes from one of ten families, and that each family has strength and weaknesses against other families.  For example, a pet from the Beast family attacks a Critter with 150% of average damage and a Flying pet with 66% of average damage.  At the same time, a Beast will get hit by a Mechanical for 150% of the Mechanical’s average damage and by a Humanoid for 66% of the Humanoid’s average damage.

While there are several different charts out there that you could use to try to remember all of those variations, I wouldn’t bother at this stage of the game.  I never use any of them.  If you really want one, WarcraftPets (my favorite people) made arguably the very best one and then put it in a printable format.   I don’t use them because Blizzard makes it VERY obvious with a big red or green arrow on the UI if any given ability is strong or weak against the pet you are battling.  They also give you a hovertext box that shows the same thing.

You can also mouseover the family icon on the top of the UI frame or in the pet journal to see if what the pet is strong and weak against in defense.

Keep in mind that just because a pet is from one family, that does not mean that the abilities they can use are also from that family.  You can see that the Fossilized Hatchling I’m currently leveling is Undead, which means he takes extra damage from Critters.  However, his main attack ability is Claw, which is a Beast ability and does extra damage to Critters as well.  Most of the pets will have abilities from more than one family.  Some weird outliers will have more abilities from other families than their own.  For example, the strange case of the Fledgling Nether Ray, one of my favorite pets.  Every last one of her abilities is from a different family.  You can use her to attack Flying, Critter, Humanoid, Aquatic, Mechanical, and Magic pets with a reasonable amount of success just by changing which abilities you have active.

There are two other important concepts to keep in mind while pet battling.  You can’t do anything about these, but knowing how they are affecting your battles can help.  First, each family gets a unique bonus, sort of like character racials.  Some are significantly better than others, but none of them are particularly bad.  In my humble, unasked-for opinion, the Three Best Family Bonuses are:

  • Elemental – ignores all weather effects
  • Humanoid – heals 4% of health every round it deals damage
  • Mechanical – heals to 25% of health after a dying once per battle

Your mileage may vary.

Secondly, each pet has a set of stats that are affected by the pet’s quality – health, power, and speed.  These all increase with every level; how much they increase depends on the pet’s quality and specialization.  For that reason, blue pets are always going to be better to level than anything else – they will always end up with more health, more firepower, and a higher speed bonus than lower-quality pets.  If you use PetJournal Enhanced, you can also sort your pets by these stats under the Specialization.  Some pets are more heavily slanted one way than another.  PetJournal Enhanced labels them as balanced, fast, resilient, and powerful.

  • Fast – very generally speaking, Flying pets and Critters are frequently the fastest, with some higher-level aquatics thrown in as well.  Flying pets also have the benefit of the family bonus of being 50% faster while above 50% health.  Speed is a huge advantage in pet battling.  If you get the first hit, you also get the last one – which means that your pet with 2 health left still has a good shot of knocking off the last 100 health left on the enemy pet.
  • Resilient – Aquatics, Dragonkin, and the occasional Elemental are often extremely good healers as well as having abilities that will block and dodge enemy attacks and often a giant health pool.  One of the hardest pets to kill?  A Strand Crab using both Shell Shield and Healing Wave on cooldown.  You might be in combat with one of those for days.  Hope you’ve got a really, really good Flying pet on hand.
  • Powerful – Beasts, Mechanicals, and some Critters hit like absolute trucks, and it only gets worse if they are attacking something they are strong against.  It’s normal to be able to 2- and 3-shot opponents, which is an big advantage when your pet is almost certainly not going to be able to go first.  If they can outlast the first couple of hits, they have the damage to seal the deal.

Pet teams are, usually, the best way to go, although you can have success with solo-leveling an individual pet if it has the right combination of abilities.  Once wild pets get to level 5, they get a 2nd pet friend to help them, and at level 15, they get two.  Soloing down three pets is therefore all but impossible if you don’t have really solid self-healing.  Instead, build some teams that go together well.  It may take some trial and error, and you may find yourself switching out pets in the higher levels, but part of the fun is figuring out which pet abilities sound good on paper and which ones actually do totally rock.

Some pets also have abilities that generate weather conditions which benefit other pets’ abilities.  I leveled up my Celestial Dragon with my Nether Faerie Dragon.  Even though the Nether Faerie Dragon is a Flying pet, most of its attacks are Magical.  That makes the Celestial Dragon a terrific partner for it, because she has Moonfire, which turns the weather into Moonlight and gives a 10% buff to Magic abilities for 9 turns.

Kia’s Brain:  /moan

Kia: What is it?!

Kia’s Brain: You are giving me a headache with all this totally useless information.

Kia: It isn’t totally useless!  Wasn’t it Sun Tzu that said something to the effect that knowing your enemy is half the battle or some such nonsense?

Kia’s Brain: “If you know both your enemy and yourself, you can win numerous battles without jeopardy.”  But that isn’t the point.

Kia: What’s the point, then?

Kia’s Brain: Weren’t you the one saying yesterday that you needed to forget the philosophic nonsense and just have fun doing pet battles?  This isn’t fun.


Kia: You’re right.  I hate it when I have to say that.

Kia’s Brain: Then, fix it, for the love.


So what should you do for your first dozen or so levels?

  • Start with a Beast, a Mechanical, and one of the following: Aquatic, Critter, or Flying.  Mostly what you are going to fighting will be beasts and critters, with some Aquatics or Flying pets thrown in for flavor.  The more exotic pet families won’t even appear on the scene until you hit higher Azeroth zones and even into Outland.
  • Don’t level it if it isn’t blue.  Trust me on this one.  You’ll hate yourself later when you do eventually tame the blue version of the white pet that you leveled all the way to 25.  Learn from my fail.
  • Remember that you get more abilities as you level up but you can only have three active at a time.  Don’t forget to check whether your level 10 ability is one you’d rather be using in place of your level 1 ability.
  • Have fun playing around with pets!  If you forget everything else (and you probably will), the most important thing to remember is that YOU CAN’T DO IT WRONG.  Yes, there are strategies that make some things easier or whatever, but in the end… it’s pets.  This is not a matter of national importance.  You will survive if your pet battling skills are a little rough at the beginning.

Next up – Raising the Bar!  How and where to get your beloved pets all the experience they need in life, including my most and least favorite places to level pets.

Posted in ACTUALLY Serious, Pet Battles FTW, WILD KERMIT FLAIL | 3 Comments

In Which Kia Plants The Seed of Addiction

Pet battling is the greatest thing ever.

I freely and fully admit that I was scornful, even derisive, towards the very idea of pet battling before Mists came out.  “I am a hunter,” I soliloquized (because no one was listening to me) grandly and melodramatically.  “I already have all the combat pets I need in Jake and his little-used brothers and sisters.”

Of course, that was long before I knew that you can get nearly 100 achievement points in the first hour or so of pet battling.

That is the hook, my friends.  Bite carefully.  100 achievement points in an hour is a most shiny and alluringly wriggling bait.

But let’s say that you, being of stronger intestinal fortitude than I, have thus far held out against the temptations of pet battles but now wish to succumb.  Where do you begin?

First, open your web browser of choice and bookmark WarcraftPets.  You’ll thank me.  If you want to skip all the idiocy I spout and talk to the people who REALLY know what they’re talking about, here is a link to their Getting Started page.

Now, you have a Curse client, right?  Of course you do.  Go open it.  I’ll wait.

Some Interface Suggestions

Now, there isn’t anything inherently wrong with the default UI for pet battling, except that the default pet journal sucks.  Blizzard very, very quickly figured out that pet battles were insanely popular and are implementing huge, sweeping fixes in patch 5.1 that all current pet battlers are thrilled and excited about.  Or maybe that’s just me.

But in the meantime, what can you do to ease your way?

Here’s four basic pet battle addons that you need right now:

  • PetJournal Enhanced: Currently the pet journal is simply an alphabetical listing.  This addon is the way the pet journal should be (and will be, post 5.1).  You can sort pets by family type, rarity, and most importantly – level.
  • PetBattle Teams: This gem of an addon allows you to set up to 14 teams of 3 pets which can be swapped in and out with a single click.  Also, if a pet is saved in a team, PetBattle Teams will save the ability choices you’ve made, rather than defaulting back to the lower powers when you switch out the pet.
  • PetBattle Info: The current default UI will not tell you the rarity of a pet until after you have tamed it.  This addon will.
  • PetCaught: Find out via mouseover of a wild pet in the world or on your minimap whether or not you have caught it and the rarity if you have.

Now then.  Do you absolutely need these addons to pet battle?  Of course not.  You don’t absolutely need DBM to raid, either.  Will it make your pet battling life so much better?  Uh, yeah.

Fortunately, if you are a true, die-hard addon holdout, there’s hope for you.  Some of the changes being implemented in 5.1 totally eliminates the need for three of the four of these addons.  Your patience will be rewarded.

A Philosophical Choice

If you are not at all like me and actually tend to think about things before you do them, rather than being hypnotized by the wriggling allure of fast and cheap achievement points, you might take a minute to think about what kind of pet battler you think you might be.  There’s generally two types: collectors and champions, although you can very easily be both at once (I’m both at once).  Generally speaking, collectors are after getting every last pet, while champions (my term, I just made it up) are interested in maxing out a few pets and beating Zen Master Aki.

It’s absolutely fine to want to do both.  However, if you are leaning one way or another, be aware that there’s different strategies for each that will make your chosen path easier and more fulfilling.  If you’re a champion kind of pet collector, you’re probably interested in picking maybe five or six extremely strong pets and just zerging them straight up to Pandaria.  Collectors, on the other hand, may have forty pets at level 10, so that they have a nice, comfortable stable that can easily defeat and trap any wild pet they come across.

Yeah, Forget the Philosophic Nonsense

Pet battling is fun.  That is the whole point.  Do whatever makes you happy.  If you’re really thinking this hard about it, you’re defeating the purpose anyway.  Stop it.  Go enjoy yourself.

Okay, but really?  How do we start?

First, check yourself: are you at least level 5?

You are?  Excellent.  Now, are you Horde (patooey) or Alliance?

If you are Alliance, go visit Audrey Burnhep (yes, a play on Audrey Hepburn) in Stormwind, near the portals to the Cata zones.  If you play Horde (patooey), you want to stop and see Varzok, an orc who lives near the flight point in Orgrimmar.  They will be your guides through the first half-hour or so by giving you easy quests and stepping-stones to pet battle infamy.  They will also give you a pet based on your race, on the off-chance that you have been thus far living under a rock and have not acquired a single one yet.

After you learn the skill Battle Pet Training from Audrey or Varzok, you will also learn Track Pets, which allows wild pets to show up on your minimap.  Wild pets are always the little critters that wander about the zones that up until now you’ve probably totally ignored, unless you’re one of those people like me who always do the Loving the Squirrels achievements immediately.  Note that not all critters are wild battle pets.  The ones that you can actually battle and tame will have a green paw print over their heads.  The rest are just critters.

You will start with just one battle pet slot available, but you will add the second and third by completing the Newbie and Just A Pup achievements, which require you to level a pet to levels 3 and 5 respectively.  If you are solo-battling, it will take you three battles to get to level 3 and about four or five more (depending on the pet level you’re killing) to get to level 5.  Possibly around the same time you hit level 5, you’ll also finish Cat Fight!, and if you did that without dying once, you’ll get On A Roll, too.

Of course, you’re likely to be like me, and instead of actually killing all of the pets you are battling, you start catching them instead.  Then you’re talking about getting points for An Uncommon Find, A Rare Catch, and That Was Close!, too… all of which you can possibly hit within the first thirty minutes of pet battling.

Audrey and Varzok will also direct you to the very first pet tamer challenge – either Julia Stevens south of Stormwind or Zunta south of Orgrimmar.  Both of these first tamers have 2 level 2 pets, which can very easily be defeated by your level 5 pet or 2 level 3 pets or 3 level 2 pets… or whatever combination thereof.  Thus you will finish Taming the Wild.

And once you’ve hit that milestone, my friend, you might as well admit to yourself that you are well and truly addicted.  It’s okay, we have a support group here – as in, we totally support your addiction and can’t wait to give you more tools to further ensconce yourself in it.  Don’t worry.  We have cookies.

Next up: Building Your Army.  All about the pets themselves, why you will love them and why you will hate them, and which ones you just can’t live without.

Posted in ACTUALLY Serious, Pet Battles FTW | 3 Comments

In Which Kia Gets A Wonderful, Awful Idea

The other night, I got this Idea.

A wonderful, awful idea.









Kia’s Brain: You need to do a series on Pet Battles.

Kia:  That is a TERRIBLE idea.  Why would anyone want to read actual information on this blog?  They come here to see us argue and to laugh at me when I do stupid things.

Kia’s Brain: Hell no, it isn’t.  It’s all you’ve talked about for WEEKS.  You need to do a good deed and share this with the world.  They need your wisdom.

Kia: …

Kia: You’re kind of evil, you know?

Kia’s Brain: Just shut up and do it.

So, feeling simultaneously that the Grinch was an excellent analogy for Kia’s Brain and also that it wasn’t worth arguing with the Grinch, I started making Notes.

Achloryn found this highly amusing.

Achloryn:  So… why are you taking notes on actual paper rather than just using Google Docs or something?

Kia: There’s a certain appeal, a certain… je ne sais quoi… about writing with an actual pen on actual paper.

Achloryn: …no, there really isn’t.  Plus, your handwriting is atrocious.  You can’t even read them.

Kia: Well, I was also drunk at the time.

Achloryn: Fair enough.

So.  I am embarking on a journey that this blog has never taken before and almost certainly will never take again and am going to do an actual, honest-to-God series on pet battles.  Five parts, starting tomorrow (cause, y’know, I haven’t actually written any of this yet) and going up every day thereafter until I’m done.

It’s going to be Everything You’ve Always Wanted To Know About Pet Battling And Were Too Embarrassed To Ask.

Alternately called Kia Tames The World.

And there will be (in fact, is) a new page on the blog with the links to all the parts, specifically for those people who so admire and laud my Great Work that they feel they need a special shrine, a holy place where they can come and peruse at length and make appropriate, complimentary remarks.

So say we all.


Why yes, this is a thinly-veiled excuse to not work on my Nano.  Why do you ask?
Posted in ACTUALLY Serious, Pet Battles FTW, WILD KERMIT FLAIL | 1 Comment

In Which Kia Hates Dailies

This is an incoherent, inconclusive, totally non-objective, ranty rant.  Prepare yourself.

Let me be totally frank right here:  I really hate dailies.

From what I hear around the blogosphere, I am not alone in this opinion; in fact, it tends to be the fact rather than the exception.  I’m not sure what my problem is, but I think it’s a combination of factors.  Let us break down the analysis:

1) Dailies take TOO BLOODY LONG.  If I’m doing a daily and am planning on doing so everyday, I don’t want to spend three hours doing it.  These are chores, people.  They are the stuff you have to get done before you get to do the stuff that you want to do.

Which, let’s be honest, is pet battles.

2) The Shado-Pan dailies have an totally unbalanced risk-reward system.  In other words, I spent over an hour dying on that stupid island with the mantids the other day for a measly 1k(ish) rep.  I know Blizz has said that they’ve made the Sra’viss island easier, but since I haven’t run it since the fix, I can’t say.  The point is that I’m still at least a couple days away from Revered with Shado-Pan, and I have already all but ground to a halt.  What am I going to do when I hit Revered and it’s STILL going to take me another 3 weeks to get to Exalted, so that I can stop doing the dailies in favor of what I want to do?

Which is still pet battles.

3) There are some great dailies in the game, which makes the sucky suck suck ones suck even harder.  They nailed the August Celestials and the Anglers, in my opinion.  Three or four dailies that take a combined maybe fifteen minutes and then you’re done and can go back to doing what you want to do.

Pet battles, naturally.

4) Dailies are more or less required for raiders.  I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.  I hear you all saying, “Nope, need to play the game that you are paying for in the way that YOU want to play it!  It’s okay!” But the honest answer is that it isn’t okay to want to raid and not be willing to work to put yourself in the best position you can for the benefit of your team – which means having valor gear and reputation gear when and where you need it.  I still need the Shado-Pan hat and trinket.  As far as our raid team goes, I’m running way behind (and have been) for awhile because I just haven’t been dedicated enough to doing dailies every single day to level up reputations.

Mostly because I’ve been doing pet battling instead.

5) I feel inordinate amounts of guilt when I don’t do dailies.  This is a game.  I should not feel guilty about something I am or am not doing in a game.  But I do, and because I do, I feel even less motivated to do my dailies.

Instead, I pet battle.

6) Most importantly, I have just discovered that WoWProgress is now ranking servers based on pet battles.  HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!?  I have never, ever been awesome enough to show up on any ranking sites for any leet gear or dps or whatever because I’m just not that good, but LOOK AT ME NOW, FRIENDS.  #37 (soon to be #36) on Rexxar for Pet Score.

I ROCK at pet battling.  ROCK I SAY.

So yeah, maybe I hate dailies some >.>  I apologize if this offends you.

I’m done ranting now.  I promise.  ❤


Firstly, Stands in Bad is still recruiting!  We desperately need a couple more ranged DPS (OTHER THAN HUNTERS – I am serious about that) to fill out a second raid team.  If you’re interested in coming along on the wild ride that is Stands in Bad (it’s a name, not a lifestyle), nudge me or one of our officers in game to chat about it.  You should ALL be in SiB anyway, because we are amazing.

Lastly, I am TOTALLY going to win Nanowrimo this year.  I have a Title and a Main Character.  I mean, what else do you need, right?  Right?! Nano starts in 6 hours, 32 minutes, so if (when) I am noticeably absent from blogging this November, you’ll know it’s because I’m churning out words on my novel instead of my blog.

Now, because I am a good raider, I am going to go do my dailies so that next week when SiB starts raiding and I’m going crazy trying to come up with 1667 words per day, I’m not dragging behind my Pocket Tank even in his Blood DK brokenness.

Posted in Ranty Ranty Rant, WILD KERMIT FLAIL | 8 Comments

In Which Kia Blows Off Buckets


Oh yeah, I almost forgot.  I was working on the holiday thing.

These are the things that Pandas do to you.

In case you missed it (and you probably have – after all, Pandas), it’s Hallow’s End time!  All the candy buckets!

No, seriously.  ALLLLLL the candy buckets.

…lots of buckets.

Really.  There’s a LOT of buckets.

















Not gonna lie to you… that pumpkin is SINISTER.


Forget the buckets.  PANDAS.

Two more to go.


In Which Kia Extemporizes

So I’ve been working my tail off this week to get myself raid-ready for when SiB jumps into Mogu’shan Vaults a week from Wednesday.  I did LFR with some lovely people from Twitter on Tuesday and… it wasn’t pretty.  It was, in fact, a rather sharp slap across the face that I HAVE BEEN A SLACKER, YO.

I promised myself that I would not fail the BM spec that I love love love and would not just willfully abandon it just because I was only doing 24k and was 15th or 16th on a PUG LFR that I had never seen before.  I was just a wee bit miserable after coming out the other side of the group, sure that I wasn’t worthy of my raid spot, sure that I was beyond hope, wondering if I maybe was just a bad BM hunter after all.

I vowed that I would give myself a week to up my dps at least 10k and give it another shot.

So since then, I have put myself in high gear and I am fixing it.  Got myself some sweet shoulders, a new hat… I even took the plunge and did something naughty – I got a cape that has the word “Dreadful” in it.

Kia’s Brain: I still can’t believe you bought an honor cape.  IT HAS PVP STATS ON IT.

Kia: Yes. Yes, it does.

Kia’s Brain: I can’t believe you even had enough honor to buy it in the first place.

Kia: I never bothered to spend it after that horrible holiday achievement that we managed to TOTALLY PWN thanks to Cynwise.

Kia’s Brain:  …that achievement was in May.  Tell me you haven’t been honor capped for six months.  TELL ME IT ISN’T TRUE.

Kia: >.>

Kia’s Brain: -_-

Kia: What the hell was I going to spend honor points on, for crying out loud?!

Kia’s Brain: Let’s just move on, kthx.

I took all my shiny new pretties and put shiny gems in them and sparkly enchants on them and stood in front of the reforger pulling my hair out until I got enough expertise to be able to hit things with some semblance of success.

Then I threw myself into heroics with two goals in mind:  1) blow Blood DK tanks off the top of the DPS charts (DAMN YOU CHRIS AND YOUR BROKEN BROKEN SELF), and 2) Klatith, Fangs of the Swarm.

I recruited my close personal friends The Animals to help fully convey my feelings about this bow.

There is a Gate in Townlong Steppes
That they call the Setting Sun
And it has a bow with some really sweet sweet stats
And Elune, I want me one.

My GM is enchanting and shines up my gear
Gives me crits and agi to put on
But she can’t make a bow like the one Raigonn’s got
In the Gate of the Setting Sun.

My man works the ore into swords and plowshares
That can chew a mantid into gum
But none of those things can match that sweet bow
Please Raigonn, just give me one.

Even I have some skills to make epic things
Out of skins and leather and thread
But I can’t kill the mobs to get all that stuff
With no bow after Raigonn’s dead.

I spend some time as often as I can
In the Gate of the Setting Sun
And I kill that damn mantid every day
And still no bow has been won.

So I’ve clicked the button and now I wait
In the queue to murder Raigonn
And here I’ll stay until I get that bow
From the Gate of the Setting Sun.

There is a Gate in Townlong Steppes
That they call the Setting Sun
And it has a bow with some really sweet stats
Please Elune, just give me one.

Kia’s Brain: I think that sums things up nicely.  BACK TO THE QUEUE WITH YOU.

Kia:  /salute


Posted in FailPUG, Kia's Brain, MEH., Nonsense and Foolishness | 2 Comments