In Which Kia Wishes For A Butler

I’ll come right out and say it… I desperately wish you didn’t have to be an engineer to have a Jeeves.

Seriously.  Jeeves is amazing.

While I know there are actual, real live, honest-to-goodness people going about in the world today who still have a butler, I have never met one.  And I WANT one.  How cool would THAT be?  I think it’s a real disservice to the WoW community that the devs have not yet included a personal assistant module in the game.  I mean, I can hear the conversation right now:

Kia:  Have I any messages, Jeeves?

Jeeves:  Indeed, Madam.  The guild members of <Kitten Armada> have requested your presence at a rendezvous at Icecrown Citadel on Friday.  I shall be happy to dispatch an RSVP.  Also, Her Grace the Lady of Mogging has returned your garnets,  cut to madam’s specifications.  Would Madam care for me to install them in her new boots?

Kia:  Yes, thank you, Jeeves.  And tell <Kitten Armada>  I’ll be happy to bring my leet pewpews to ICC.  And send a thank you note to Kat for me, would you?

Jeeves:  Of course, Madam.  I have taken the liberty of asking Cook to restock your supply of Feasts, as I noticed Madam was running low.  Would Madam care for some extra bandages, in case of emergencies?  Madam puts herself in far too much danger.

Kia:  You mother me too much, Jeeves.  This is the job.  Oh, I’m nearly late for raid!

Jeeves:  I shall teleport you to the Caverns of Time directly, Madam.  If I may be so bold as to remind Madam that she is still wearing her Dalaran ring instead of the one she found on the corpse of the Stormbinder?

Kia:  /looks at hand

Kia: /hastily changes ring

Kia:  Thank you, Jeeves.

Jeeves:  Indeed, Madam.

Jeeves: /inclines head

I mean, how amazing would THAT be?

Although, can you imagine the mats that guy would take?  The actual Jeeves is bad enough.  However, it might be worth it, in my book, if it could help eliminate a major problem that I have encountered:

That’s… really scary.  I mean, look at all the useless crap I have in there!  All those bows that I’m never going to use really need to go in Void Storage, since the only bow I need is this one.  (Also remains the only thing I’ve managed to transmog so far.  I have some ideas, I just need… motivation.  In the form of some other person actually doing it for me.  >.>)  Then there’s all that ridiculous AQ crap – almost an entire bag full of it.  I don’t know why I even have it.  I do intend to finish the AQ rep eventually (I’m a very sad 72 points away from Neutral), but for the love.  WHY AM I KEEPING THAT NONSENSE?

Why yes, that IS three Spring Rabbit’s Feet.  Why do you ask?

I’ve been to Ulduar at least a half-dozen times since getting the quest to turn in that data disk.  Have yet to remember to grab it from my bank before I left.

No, I don’t have any idea why I have a low-level tailoring pattern in my bank.  Just shut up, okay?

Seriously, Kia.  Sweet mercy.

So yeah, I want a Jeeves, so that then I could have this conversation:

Jeeves: Would Madam care to see the contents of her bank?

Kia:  /stares aghast at all the empty bag slots and the spotless, meticulous organization of the full ones

Jeeves:  I am also pleased to inform Madam that Madam’s coffers have swelled by several thousand pounds.

Kia:  Jeeves, you are a marvel.  I believe you are due for a pay increase.

Jeeves:  I am pleased to be at Madam’s service.

Jeeves:  /inclines head

For the record, I do actually own P.G. Wodehouse and I think he’s brilliant and that you should all go read his stuff immediately.  And I really do want a Jeeves.

This entry was posted in Nonsense and Foolishness. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to In Which Kia Wishes For A Butler

  1. Rhuanious says:

    Kia, I love you, I really do ❤ And a butler sounds amazing, but what if his organizing didn't match up to my organizing? That could cause issues

  2. Asherrylie says:

    Yes Please. i’ll take one of those. What? The mats will take 6+ months of farming? Sure I’ll STILL do it anyways.

  3. Esmerellda says:

    Is there nerd points for getting one? Cause then, I’d totally be right there for sure.

  4. Laeleiweyn says:

    1. Change to Engineering, it’s so much fun! I love my Jeeves. And once you get rocket boots and parachute, you never look back. 🙂
    2. If you buy a pony for your Argent Squire (achievement Pony Up!), which costs 150 Champion’s Seals, he’ll give you vendor, bank or mail as well. Although I doubt he is as polite and workaholicy as Jeeves.

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