In Which Kia Braves the LFR

Masochism: [mas-uh-kiz-uhm] n., gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one’s own actions or the actions of others, especially the tendency to seek this form of gratification.

In other words, Blizzard’s newest steps in social experimentation, the Looking For Raid button.  It’s kind of like LFD, only it hits harder and ignores more armor.

…I might be bitter.  >_>

So I have done LFR three times, once with a set of guildies and twice by myself.  I don’t believe that I need to state that the run with the guildies was by far the best, but I will anyway in case the obvious is not as obvious as I think it should be.  Possibly the best point of the night came on the Hagara trash, when a whole bunch of the puggers refused to move out of the Blizzard.  The following conversation ensued:

Pix:  Why are they all standing in the shit?

Kia:  They are considering it a guild application, obviously.

Pix, in Raid Chat:  People, I realize that the tag under our names says <Stands in Bad>, but we are not recruiting, so cut it out.

However as derpy that particular run at Siege was, it doesn’t even hold a candle to the one that I braved by myself a couple weeks ago.

It was my own fault, naturally.  Embarrassed and humiliated by the fact that my average of 4fps in a 25s environment generally results in me having to work really really really hard to just manage mechanics and not die and gives me a DPS slightly greater than that of crippled newborn birdies (CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP), I quietly slunk into LFR by myself so that none of my guildies would see my humiliation and took what was coming to me.

I was a little concerned right from the beginning when the RL didn’t mark the Morchok trash.  It’s not that big of a deal, even though it’s helpful when the stuff goes down in the right order, but it spoke to the RL’s assumptions that everybody knew what the hell they were doing.  And we all know what happens when you assume.  The whole time, /raid was eerily, unnaturally silent.  NOT A WORD was spoken.

On Morchok, my fears and trepidations were confirmed when the crystals popped.  Like a good ranged DPS, I ran (read: swam through molasses and tar due to my 3fps at this point) to the crystal and stood on it… and watched NO ONE ELSE do likewise.  Naturally, about 85% of my health was wiped out when it exploded, but there must have been enough people close enough to not one-shot me.  Thinking that surely, SURELY this was a fluke, a minor interruption in the normal flow of things, because surely, SURELY we weren’t going to ignore a mechanic that hurts that much, I… ran to the next crystal.  That was waaaaaayyy far away from the raid.  By myself.  Again.

/floor tank

“Okay, Kia,” I thought, dusting myself off after the healers picked me up after the boss died (a whole lot sloooooower than he should have because, amazingly, lots of DPS kept dying), “This was just a minor setback.  A flesh wound!  This is not indicative of how the next three bosses will go!”

Yes it was.

Running into the temple, /raid continued in its semblance of a Quaker meeting, resulting in a bunch of people sort of milling about aimlessly not sure whether to go to the left and play Ping Pong or go to the right and shoot oozes.  This mindless wandering continued until a critical mass of people turned left.  Ping Pong!

Well, sort of Ping Pong.  Okay, it actually was a lot more like Pinball, because the ranged were scattered all over the room.  It only took about seven seconds to get the first ten stacks on the ball.  I was, perhaps, a little panicky at this point.  If it continued in this vein, the extra healing required during A HUNDRED THOUSAND stack phases was eventually gonna kill the healers.  “Calm!” I shouted at myself.  “They are going to do it correctly after this stack phase!”  They didn’t.  The ranged spread out as if looking for Noblegarden eggs rather than trying to play Ping Pong with the melee, and the ball’s path began to resemble a cat hopped up on catnip playing with a feather dangling on a stick.  Then… terror of terrors!  The ball was headed for the wall.  No one was close enough to chase it down.  No one… except me.

/eat the ball alone a million miles away from everyone else

/floor tank

“Still!” I thought, dusting myself off after the healers picked me up when the boss was dead, “That’s two down!  It’s going to get BETTER from here!  After all, it couldn’t get worse, could it?”

Yes it could.

Oozes!  This is the easy one, right?  If you can get Ping Pong down, the ooze boss is easy.  You just have to have a raid leader who knows what they’re doing who is calling out instructions, if nothing more than “Kill Purple”.


I forgot.

We didn’t have one of those.

In keeping with the sworn vow of silence that the RL obviously took before clicking the “Raid Leader” button on his LFR queue, we began pulling trash in the deadly quiet of a pre-hurricane calm.  No marks, of course, but that was to be expected by this point.  And in LFR, killing the trash oozes in the proper order, while advantageous and to be hoped for, can be eschewed in favor of the leaders’ desires to not want to work very hard without TOO much difficulty.  More or less.   So for two pack mobs, things went tripping merrily along and the oozes died.

And then, with FOUR trash packs still up, some COMPLETE BLOODY MORON pulled the boss.

That was an uncharitable remark.  It is entirely possible that it was an accidental pull by some nice person who was stepping into a raid for the first time in his or her life and didn’t realize that he or she COULD facepull the boss, but I think it’s MUCH more likely that someone was just a COMPLETE BLOODY MORON.

Now, it IS possible to fight Vor’sahj with four packs of oozes still up.  I know because we tried it.  I DON’T know if it’s possible to actually KILL him, because we certainly didn’t do that.  We made it through the first triple ooze summon because the ooze to kill (it might have been Purple) happened to be coming from one of the areas that we did clear of trash.  We weren’t so lucky the second time.  The pack came Red-Yellow-Green, and enough of us ran towards the Yellow to suggest to the others that it should be the ooze to die.  However, not EVERYBODY did, as a decent chunk of DPS ran for the green.  Those of us headed for Yellow were intercepted by two of the trash mobs and didn’t get to the ooze in time.

All three oozes hit the boss.  I was joined in my /floortanking by… the rest of the raid.

As we are recovering from the wipe, some astute shaman pipes up, “Maybe we should kill the trash first?”

Unsurprisingly, Yor’sahj went down rather easier after we did that.

I am not much of a loot llama.  I figure that if I don’t get it this run, I’ll get it some other run.  Which was a  good thing for me on Yor’sahj, as my shoulder token dropped.  I rolled against what I swear was every last warrior and shaman in our battlegroup.  Seriously, of the 25 people in the raid, 11 were eligible to roll on those shoulders.  They went to a shaman.  WHO WAS ALREADY WEARING THE SHOULDERS.

At this point, I am not sure what was possessing me to stick around, other than a sick and twisted desire to see how it all would end.  And also because I felt the need to invent new invectives, or possibly just because I really am a masochist and haven’t come to the realization yet.


Finally, FINALLY… Hagara.  I personally love the Hagara fight.  I think the lighting-conductor thing is wicked cool and the mechanics are generally a nice combination of stuff that can be easily handled but will still kill you if you don’t pay attention to it.  And amazingly enough, the actual boss fight went astonishingly smoothly.

However.  Hagara has trash.

Beyond the requisite people-standing-in-Blizzard, which is almost a requirement at this point, the trash… did not go well.  When the double pack came out, I desperately threw a trap on one of the casters.  A warrior immediately crossed the room to hit my trap.  I am not kidding.  I watched him do it in despair and watched my trap cooldown tick in resignation.  People died to Blizzard.  People died to… I don’t even know what.  People DIED.

And then, while fighting the Lieutenant, not a soul moved out of the middle.  We pulled the boss with six people still /floortanking.

The brilliant Vidyala over at Manalicious has an excellent post up today about why she doesn’t like LFR.  I can only give a loud huzzah in sympathy.  I don’t like LFR.  I don’t even much care for LFD, although LFD at least has the advantage of only 1/5 of the possible hate-mongering and loot-whoring and general Fail.  I have come to the conclusion that random groups in general give me hives.  Whether I win or lose, I always come out of them feeling the need for a nice hot bath.  It isn’t FUN.  Which is, after all, the whole point of playing a game.

Sadly, I still need stuff from LFR.  I am, I swear, the only hunter on the planet who does not have her Tier 13 2 pc yet.  So the choice continues to stand before me: go without VP and gear, or brave the murky and unpalatable depths of randoms until my ears bleed and I am desperately searching for rusty spoons with which to gouge out my eyes.

So no, Vid.  I don’t like LFR either.  /fistpump

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2 Responses to In Which Kia Braves the LFR

  1. indigodragyn says:

    Yay for getting more tier pieces!

    Also, if we’re not tired and antisocial from work (or just hooked on the Netflix series du jour), Krista and I are usually up for running heroics for VP (if anything, with ALL THE ALTS). ^^

  2. Pingback: In Which Kia Ruins Her Reputation |

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