So the Boyfriend has spent the last couple of days working on a short piece of fiction to enter in this competition. While I am a writery type, I found myself at a loss to give him much aid or assistance in the whole process, because… I’ve never played Dragon Age: Origins. Or, really, any game other than WoW. Um. Ever.
Well, okay, that’s a bald-faced lie. I DID spend a great deal of time while I was in Burkina playing Age of Empires III. This was because one of the guys on the station had brought it with him and gave it to me and it was Something To Do. Believe me when I say that when it gets Africa Dark (VERY VERY DIFFERENT from Western Dark) at 7pm and there is NOTHING for hundreds of miles, Things To Do At Night become very highly prized trophies. So I played AoE and I thoroughly enjoyed the British, for whatever reason. Possibly because of my general Anglophilia, but just as likely because of the longbowmen, because as we all know, I am a hunter. I like shooting arrows. I play arrow-shooters in EVERYTHING. I even LARPed one once. It was somewhat less satisfactory, because although I could carry around a sweet fake bow and a sweet fake quiver full of sweet fake arrows… I couldn’t actually use them. I had to pitch little cloth bags at people and say, “I draw aaaannnd… FIRE!” And then if I didn’t hit the person… I missed. MISSED? HOW COULD I MISS? I’m HIT-CAPPED, DAMMIT.
Ahem. Moving on.
So while I could offer advice about voice and emotional connectivity and good stuff like that, I kept having to stop and ask the Boyfriend things like “Why’s it called Dragon Age anyway? Are there ACTUAL dragons, or just symbolic and/or portentous ones? And is it okay for me to hate mages? Because I really, really, really hate mages.” And Boyfriend, who is playing DA:O (again?) and enjoying himself tremendously, started going on about demons and some people who wear grey all the time and this guy named Alistair. I was amused, then befuddled, then intrigued.
(Not coincidentally, I think this was also more or less precisely the same process my brain went through when the Boyfriend started hitting on me. But I digress.)
A casual stroll to Amazon revealed to me a significant fact. Dragon Age: Origin, along with the expansion and all the DLC, was on sale for 70% off. I would be getting Loaner Laptop. Plus, Loaner Laptop Friend wanted to buy it for me. Obviously, the stars were aligning. I was MEANT to have this game. The Fates demanded it! And so it was acquired.
All of this occurred four days ago, just before Loaner Laptop was acquired. Loaner Laptop Friend promised to start downloading it for me that evening, before I arrived at her house the next day to pick up Loaner Laptop. I cheered! At last, I would enter the world of single player gaming! There would be much fanfare and excitement! Plus, I would know what the hell Boyfriend was talking about in his story! I was, as they say on the interwebs, excite.
Upon arrival at Loaner Laptop Friend’s house, after the greeting and the hugging was finished, Loaner Laptop Friend introduced me to Loaner Laptop, and I saw that the download had indeed started. In fact, it was at somewhere around 42%.
“Cool! How long has it been downloading?”
“Oh, about six hours.”
“Hrm. Well, okay. So I should still be able to play it sometime tonight, yeah?”
Well, not so much. Loaner Laptop Friend has DSL. And I am addicted to Boyfriend’s Netflix. >_>
I attempted to let the download continue all night, but totally forgot to change the hibernation settings on the machine before going to sleep very very late that night. When I went to sleep, the download was somewhere around 84%.
“A couple more hours,” thought I. “It should be done by the time I wake up tomorrow.”
It was not. The machine hibernated and turned itself off at 89%.
I packed up for my drive home the next morning, still encouraged that I would be able to play that night even though it was New Year’s Eve and all the normal people would be out drinking and making out at midnight. Neither drinking nor making out was on my itinerary. I was going to play Dragon Age instead.
It took another three hours from the time I got home to actually finish the download. I stared at the totally-full-to-the-naked-eye download bar, sitting obnoxiously at 99%, for what felt like half of eternity until, HUZZAH! Download complete. Begin extraction.
At 60%, tragedy struck our fair heroine in the form of an Amazon error message.
“You fool!” it said (it didn’t really). “Your file has been corrupted! Click here to begin download anew. Corrupted file will be deleted!”
I stared at it in shock and dismay.
“BUT BUT BUT,” I said to the error message, “BUT IT’S ALREADY TAKEN TWO DAYS TO DOWNLOAD.”
The error message was unmoved.
“I don’t WANT to download the file again! Can’t you just FIX it?”
The error message continued in unrelenting unwavering existence.
“Isn’t there some kind of Turn Undead spell that you can cast?”
There was not.
Finally, worn down with sorrow and the understanding that it would be QUITE a long time before I would be playing Dragon Age, I clicked the error message. The file that had taken SO DAMN LONG to download disappeared as if balefired out of existence and began anew.
This was at quarter to 8 PM on New Year’s Eve. It is now 1 AM on January 2. The new download is at 81% and is sitting there, staring at me in mocking derision.
Alistair’s cute, but I’m not sure he’s worth it. AND IT’S GOING TO BE AWHILE YET BEFORE I FIND OUT FOR SURE.