In Which Kia Gets A Wonderful, Awful Idea

The other night, I got this Idea.

A wonderful, awful idea.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kia’s Brain: You need to do a series on Pet Battles.

Kia:  That is a TERRIBLE idea.  Why would anyone want to read actual information on this blog?  They come here to see us argue and to laugh at me when I do stupid things.

Kia’s Brain: Hell no, it isn’t.  It’s all you’ve talked about for WEEKS.  You need to do a good deed and share this with the world.  They need your wisdom.

Kia: …

Kia: You’re kind of evil, you know?

Kia’s Brain: Just shut up and do it.

So, feeling simultaneously that the Grinch was an excellent analogy for Kia’s Brain and also that it wasn’t worth arguing with the Grinch, I started making Notes.

Achloryn found this highly amusing.

Achloryn:  So… why are you taking notes on actual paper rather than just using Google Docs or something?

Kia: There’s a certain appeal, a certain… je ne sais quoi… about writing with an actual pen on actual paper.

Achloryn: …no, there really isn’t.  Plus, your handwriting is atrocious.  You can’t even read them.

Kia: Well, I was also drunk at the time.

Achloryn: Fair enough.

So.  I am embarking on a journey that this blog has never taken before and almost certainly will never take again and am going to do an actual, honest-to-God series on pet battles.  Five parts, starting tomorrow (cause, y’know, I haven’t actually written any of this yet) and going up every day thereafter until I’m done.

It’s going to be Everything You’ve Always Wanted To Know About Pet Battling And Were Too Embarrassed To Ask.

Alternately called Kia Tames The World.

And there will be (in fact, is) a new page on the blog with the links to all the parts, specifically for those people who so admire and laud my Great Work that they feel they need a special shrine, a holy place where they can come and peruse at length and make appropriate, complimentary remarks.

So say we all.

 

Why yes, this is a thinly-veiled excuse to not work on my Nano.  Why do you ask?

In Which Kia Hates Dailies

This is an incoherent, inconclusive, totally non-objective, ranty rant.  Prepare yourself.

Let me be totally frank right here:  I really hate dailies.

From what I hear around the blogosphere, I am not alone in this opinion; in fact, it tends to be the fact rather than the exception.  I’m not sure what my problem is, but I think it’s a combination of factors.  Let us break down the analysis:

1) Dailies take TOO BLOODY LONG.  If I’m doing a daily and am planning on doing so everyday, I don’t want to spend three hours doing it.  These are chores, people.  They are the stuff you have to get done before you get to do the stuff that you want to do.

Which, let’s be honest, is pet battles.

2) The Shado-Pan dailies have an totally unbalanced risk-reward system.  In other words, I spent over an hour dying on that stupid island with the mantids the other day for a measly 1k(ish) rep.  I know Blizz has said that they’ve made the Sra’viss island easier, but since I haven’t run it since the fix, I can’t say.  The point is that I’m still at least a couple days away from Revered with Shado-Pan, and I have already all but ground to a halt.  What am I going to do when I hit Revered and it’s STILL going to take me another 3 weeks to get to Exalted, so that I can stop doing the dailies in favor of what I want to do?

Which is still pet battles.

3) There are some great dailies in the game, which makes the sucky suck suck ones suck even harder.  They nailed the August Celestials and the Anglers, in my opinion.  Three or four dailies that take a combined maybe fifteen minutes and then you’re done and can go back to doing what you want to do.

Pet battles, naturally.

4) Dailies are more or less required for raiders.  I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.  I hear you all saying, “Nope, need to play the game that you are paying for in the way that YOU want to play it!  It’s okay!” But the honest answer is that it isn’t okay to want to raid and not be willing to work to put yourself in the best position you can for the benefit of your team – which means having valor gear and reputation gear when and where you need it.  I still need the Shado-Pan hat and trinket.  As far as our raid team goes, I’m running way behind (and have been) for awhile because I just haven’t been dedicated enough to doing dailies every single day to level up reputations.

Mostly because I’ve been doing pet battling instead.

5) I feel inordinate amounts of guilt when I don’t do dailies.  This is a game.  I should not feel guilty about something I am or am not doing in a game.  But I do, and because I do, I feel even less motivated to do my dailies.

Instead, I pet battle.

6) Most importantly, I have just discovered that WoWProgress is now ranking servers based on pet battles.  HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!?  I have never, ever been awesome enough to show up on any ranking sites for any leet gear or dps or whatever because I’m just not that good, but LOOK AT ME NOW, FRIENDS.  #37 (soon to be #36) on Rexxar for Pet Score.

I ROCK at pet battling.  ROCK I SAY.

So yeah, maybe I hate dailies some >.>  I apologize if this offends you.

I’m done ranting now.  I promise.  <3

TWO PSAs:

Firstly, Stands in Bad is still recruiting!  We desperately need a couple more ranged DPS (OTHER THAN HUNTERS – I am serious about that) to fill out a second raid team.  If you’re interested in coming along on the wild ride that is Stands in Bad (it’s a name, not a lifestyle), nudge me or one of our officers in game to chat about it.  You should ALL be in SiB anyway, because we are amazing.

Lastly, I am TOTALLY going to win Nanowrimo this year.  I have a Title and a Main Character.  I mean, what else do you need, right?  Right?! Nano starts in 6 hours, 32 minutes, so if (when) I am noticeably absent from blogging this November, you’ll know it’s because I’m churning out words on my novel instead of my blog.

Now, because I am a good raider, I am going to go do my dailies so that next week when SiB starts raiding and I’m going crazy trying to come up with 1667 words per day, I’m not dragging behind my Pocket Tank even in his Blood DK brokenness.

In Which Kia Blows Off Buckets

 

Oh yeah, I almost forgot.  I was working on the holiday thing.

These are the things that Pandas do to you.

In case you missed it (and you probably have – after all, Pandas), it’s Hallow’s End time!  All the candy buckets!

No, seriously.  ALLLLLL the candy buckets.

…lots of buckets.

Really.  There’s a LOT of buckets.

…

WHYYYYYY… WHYYYYY THE BUCKETS…

>.>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not gonna lie to you… that pumpkin is SINISTER.

Meh.

Forget the buckets.  PANDAS.

Two more to go.

In Which Kia Extemporizes

So I’ve been working my tail off this week to get myself raid-ready for when SiB jumps into Mogu’shan Vaults a week from Wednesday.  I did LFR with some lovely people from Twitter on Tuesday and… it wasn’t pretty.  It was, in fact, a rather sharp slap across the face that I HAVE BEEN A SLACKER, YO.

I promised myself that I would not fail the BM spec that I love love love and would not just willfully abandon it just because I was only doing 24k and was 15th or 16th on a PUG LFR that I had never seen before.  I was just a wee bit miserable after coming out the other side of the group, sure that I wasn’t worthy of my raid spot, sure that I was beyond hope, wondering if I maybe was just a bad BM hunter after all.

I vowed that I would give myself a week to up my dps at least 10k and give it another shot.

So since then, I have put myself in high gear and I am fixing it.  Got myself some sweet shoulders, a new hat… I even took the plunge and did something naughty – I got a cape that has the word “Dreadful” in it.

Kia’s Brain: I still can’t believe you bought an honor cape.  IT HAS PVP STATS ON IT.

Kia: Yes. Yes, it does.

Kia’s Brain: I can’t believe you even had enough honor to buy it in the first place.

Kia: I never bothered to spend it after that horrible holiday achievement that we managed to TOTALLY PWN thanks to Cynwise.

Kia’s Brain:  …that achievement was in May.  Tell me you haven’t been honor capped for six months.  TELL ME IT ISN’T TRUE.

Kia: >.>

Kia’s Brain: -_-

Kia: What the hell was I going to spend honor points on, for crying out loud?!

Kia’s Brain: Let’s just move on, kthx.

I took all my shiny new pretties and put shiny gems in them and sparkly enchants on them and stood in front of the reforger pulling my hair out until I got enough expertise to be able to hit things with some semblance of success.

Then I threw myself into heroics with two goals in mind:  1) blow Blood DK tanks off the top of the DPS charts (DAMN YOU CHRIS AND YOUR BROKEN BROKEN SELF), and 2) Klatith, Fangs of the Swarm.

I recruited my close personal friends The Animals to help fully convey my feelings about this bow.

There is a Gate in Townlong Steppes
That they call the Setting Sun
And it has a bow with some really sweet sweet stats
And Elune, I want me one.

My GM is enchanting and shines up my gear
Gives me crits and agi to put on
But she can’t make a bow like the one Raigonn’s got
In the Gate of the Setting Sun.

My man works the ore into swords and plowshares
That can chew a mantid into gum
But none of those things can match that sweet bow
Please Raigonn, just give me one.

Even I have some skills to make epic things
Out of skins and leather and thread
But I can’t kill the mobs to get all that stuff
With no bow after Raigonn’s dead.

I spend some time as often as I can
In the Gate of the Setting Sun
And I kill that damn mantid every day
And still no bow has been won.

So I’ve clicked the button and now I wait
In the queue to murder Raigonn
And here I’ll stay until I get that bow
From the Gate of the Setting Sun.

There is a Gate in Townlong Steppes
That they call the Setting Sun
And it has a bow with some really sweet stats
Please Elune, just give me one.

Kia’s Brain: I think that sums things up nicely.  BACK TO THE QUEUE WITH YOU.

Kia:  /salute

 

In Which Kia Is Busy

Yes, okay, yes yes yes.  I know.  I know, I got it, I know.  Pandas have been out for three whole weeks and I haven’t said a single word about them.

Or about anything.

Because I’ve been busy,  damnit.  Have you played pandas recently?  You didn’t happen to notice the massive amounts of stuff that all must be done?

No?

What kind of box in the darkest corner of Stratholme are you living under?

Kia’s Brain: Hey, hey, hey, whoa there.  What’s all the umbrage about?  Some of those Stratholme boxes are nice.  You get stuff out of them.

Kia: Only if you kill a bunch of undead mailmen first!

Kia’s Brain: You’re in Stratholme.  If you didn’t want to kill undead, what on earth are you doing there?

Kia: …you have a point.

Kia’s Brain: So enough with the defensive attitude and more about the pandas.

Kia: Right.

Kia: >.>

Kia: Erm, sorry about that.

Kia’s Brain: Move it along, sister.  Move it along.

Kia: Right.

So pandas.

Best. Expansion. Ever.

First of all, Pandaland is breathtakingly gorgeous, even on my little laptop with the graphics all set on low.  I mean, lookit.

And this one, too:

I mean, how awesome is it to just fly around Pandaria on the back of a giant jade dragon?  Geez, people.

But you can see much better pictures from people who have much better computers.  Or you know, just play the game.  No, there is much more to the Sisterhood story than mere pictures can tell.  After all, there are two extremely significant things that have, I swear, eaten up my entire life.

The first one is cooking >.>

In the real world, I am a terrible cook.  I don’t enjoy it and am not very good at it, and there are food issues.  However, in Pandaland…

See that adorable little guy?  That’s Nomi, my cooking apprentice.  The one you can get after you max out all six cooking ways and then fork over fifty Ironpaw Tokens to Nam Ironpaw.

I may or may not have finished all six Ways before the end of the first week of Mists.

Kia’s Brain:  Here’s a hint: the answer is… may.

I’ve started leveling up my adorable apprentice.  Somebody has actually asked ME to teach someone ELSE how to cook.  So far, all he’s asked for is peaches, and he’ll apparently continue to do so for another week, but he’s so cute and helpless that I couldn’t have said no even if he had asked for a stack of Mad Brewer’s Breakfast.  I love that little guy!

I will admit though… it was insane amounts of grinding.  Basically, I was finishing about one Way per day (I had all of them open at the same time) by fishing up enough Bundles of Groceries to turn in tokens for all of the veggies plus the token item for the feasts.  It ended up being 20 to 25 Ironpaw Tokens to max out each Way, depending on how much stuff I could get while out doing dailies and so forth.  It helped that I leveled by doing Loremaster of Pandaria – I finished each zone before moving on to the next.  While it did slow down my climb to 90, it didn’t slow it down that much, and by the time I got to Halfhill, I had enough stuff to be able to open all six Ways at the same time.  Then it’s just mix and matching until you get enough stuff to level it all up.

Speaking of cooking stuff.  PLEASE BLIZZARD GIVE ME A COOKING BAG PLEASE.

Anyway.

Kia’s Brain: Let’s be honest with the people and tell them the real reason that you haven’t been blogging for the last week or so.

Kia: >.>

Kia: I don’t wanna.  It’s too embarrassing.

Kia’s Brain: You brought it on yourself, with all your I’m a hunter; I have REAL combat pets nonsense.  You should have seen it coming.

Kia:  I didn’t!  I didn’t know!

Kia’s Brain: Tell the nice people about your fail.

Kia: It’s not a fail!  It’s a perfectly legitimate way of playing!  Lots of people are doing it!

Kia’s Brain: Have you been doing your dailies like a good raider should?

Kia: Well… no.  Not all the time.

Kia’s Brain: What about running dungeons and LFR to gear up?  Hmmm?

Kia:  I did a couple!  And hey!  I went and killed the Sha of Anger with some lovely folks from Twitter and he gave me awesome pants!

Kia’s Brain: And have you put a gem or leg armor which you can make yourself with your maxed out leatherworking on those pants yet?

Kia: I… I… I don’t think so.

Kia’s Brain: /disdainful eyebrow raise

Kia:  Okay!  Fine!  I’ll do it!

I’ve not been blogging because I’ve been obsessively Pet Battling.

There!  I said it!

Before Mists landed on our shores, I was not much of a pet collector.  I had about… 80, maybe.  I think.  Something like that.

Now I have 185.  And a really good start on the World Safari meta achievement.

Two of them, the Mechanical Squirrel I named after Quin and the Panther Cub I named after Laeleiweyn, are level 25.

I rather think “Zookeeper Kialesse” has a nice ring to it, don’t you?

So to all the people that I mocked about Pokewow and how I am a leet hunter and don’t need no combat pets… I grovel most sincerely.  I did not know.  I could not have foreseen the epic awesomeness that is watching a tiny mechanical squirrel totally pwn a snake.  I mean, who even thinks this stuff up?!

PET BATTLES ROCK.

Kia: There.  Are you happy now?

Kia’s Brain: I will be happier when you put a gem in those damn pants.

Kia: Oh whatever.

Kia’s Brain: And maybe do just a little bit of raiding prep.  Like even just figuring out what the first raid is freaking called, for crying out loud.

Kia: I still have 2 weeks before SiB starts raiding!  I’ll get there!  I promise!

Kia’s Brain: Kat and Dhevon are going to burn your ass so hard, you know.

Kia: Not just them, but pretty much every other dps with a pulse.  I have come to terms with it.  I shall be the bottom, and I shall uphold the bottom with lovely rare pets like the Fledgling Nether Ray I found in Netherstorm the other day.

Kia’s Brain: …

Kia’s Brain:  Well.  It’s a plan, at least.

Kia: So we’re done here then?  Good.  I have pets to tame.

In Which Kia Needs A Distraction

Kia’s Brain: So, why are you bothering to finish the last level of that bloody shaman when pandas are out in less than twelve hours??

Kia: I need a distraction.

Kia’s Brain: There’s like a thousand things that you could be doing instead.

Kia: Oh?  Like what?

Kia’s Brain:  How about the dishes in the sink, like an adult, since neither you nor Chris will be moving for the next 48 to 72 hours?

Kia: Meh.

Kia’s Brain: Or going to the bank, like an adult, so that you can finally get your Tennessee driver’s license?

Kia: EVEN BIGGER MEH.

Kia’s Brain: Okay, fine, you want to hang out in WoW?  How about all the stuff that you could be doing to get ready for launch?  Like farming up some mats to get ten or so leatherworking points right at launch?  Or maybe maxing out your artifacts, reason same for archaeology?  Or… I know!  You could clean out your damn bank.

Kia: I did that already.

Kia’s Brain: …you still have three Spring Rabbits in there.  You are not done yet.

Kia:  But… but… but… I only have one level to go.  One level.  84-85 is not that big of a deal now that it’s been nerfed by half!  I can easily finish it in the next 8 or 10 hours and still have a couple hours to spare to get ready.

Kia’s Brain:  Only if you stop watching the Tudors, for crying out loud.

Kia: We are getting close to the first beheading.

Kia’s Brain: They had the first beheading on like the second episode!

Kia: Okay, the first wifely beheading.  Did you know Anne Boelyn remained Queen of England only a little more than three years after her coronation?

Kia’s Brain: What the hell does any of that have to do with pandas?

Kia: …you’re the one who brought up the Tudors.

Kia’s Brain:  …to my deep chagrin.

In Which Kia Nurses A Hangover

Kia’s Brain, moaning:  WHY did you make us drink all that vodka and cranberry juice?

Kia: It felt like a good idea at the time.

Kia’s Brain: Do you think that’s what Garrosh thought when he dropped that bomb on Theramore?

Kia: Almost certainly.  Why else would he do it?

Kia’s Brain: I realize that we’ve never read ANY of the WoW books and have no idea about the lore in general, but could it possibly be because he just hates the Alliance that damn much?

Kia: >.>

Kia: They didn’t give any other explanation – or any explanation at ALL, really – in that scenario, so I suppose it’s as good of a reason as any.  It felt like a good idea at the time.  That is what we are going with.

Kia’s Brain: I can get behind this idea.

Kia: Do you think he is nursing a hangover now too?

Kia’s Brain: Can you even get a hangover from a mana bomb?

Kia: Blood elves.

Kia’s Brain: You have a point.  Still, I would think it would just blow everything the hell up.  Like it did for most of Theramore.

Kia: I wonder where Jaina was when the blowing-up part occurred.  Do you think that book tells you?  Or who the hell those people were?  I’ve never run into that faction before.  Or why they used a mana bomb instead of regular old goblin explosives?  Or why nobody saw this coming or tried to stop it?  Or any exposition whatsoever?

Kia’s Brain: I imagine if you were to read it, you would find out all these things in dramatic fashion.

Kia: I FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT THIS.

Kia’s Brain: …about reading a book?  You already spend way too much time doing that anyway; what difference does another one make?

Kia: Because… because it does.  Even if the book is there, shouldn’t there be something in the game as well?  I am running into a serious wall of I don’t get it here.

Kia’s Brain:  But if there was something in the game to explain the scenario, then you wouldn’t buy the book.

Kia: … that is true.

Kia’s Brain: So logically, Blizzard has to leave everyone scratching their collective head going “wtf?!” so that the book will sell more copies.

Kia: …this gives me a sad

Kia’s Brain: It is a cruel and heartless world.

Kia:  /wipes tear

Kia’s Brain:  Hey, look!  Your shaman is in Northrend!

Kia:  /forgets about the Theramore scenario entirely and trots off to Howling Fjord, where at least there are penguins, for cripes’ sake.

Kia’s Brain: It was a really stupid-looking hat anyway.