In Which Kia Throws Lightning Tantrums

Let’s get one thing straight.

I play hunters.

I love my hunter pets, most especially my kitty cat Jake.  Im in ur raid, multi-shotting ur trash packs.  I bring the ROAR to make you hit harder.  I’ll trap that pesky caster in the back that refuses to stop silencing our healer.  In the best of all worlds, I am GOING TO BE BIGANDRED (although sadly, at the moment I just shoot deadly arrows really fast).  I am a HUNTER.

So then.  What the hell is THAT?!

Kia: That is not a hunter.

Kia’s Brain:  No. That is, in fact, a shaman.

Kia:  A shaman?  I don’t play shaman.  I play hunters.

Kia’s Brain:  I KNOW, right?  But we agreed that you were going to stop being so one-dimensional and branch out a little bit, right?  This is a good thing!  This is PERSONAL GROWTH.

Kia:  My heart, it hurts.

Kia’s Brain:  I promise you can go play your baby hunter when you finish the shaman.  If you’re good.

Kia:  /cry

So Kiashami has arrived in Telaar with Sugar, her baby Wintersaber Cub, having just dinged 65.  (On a completely unrelated note, why do we say that someone has dinged?  There is no ding noise.  There is a flash of light.  Why don’t we say that they flashed?  Although on further reflection… that has some unnecessarily graphic connotations.  Heh, graphic.  You see what I did there?  Cause it’s a computer game with pixels?  No?  Never mind then.  I digress.)  It should not be a cause for this much celebration.  You know when I rolled her?  During WoW’s 7th anniversary week, when we all got that item trinket thingie that gave the buff to xp and rep gains.  According to our Benevolent Overlord Google, that week started on November 18.  That was 72 days ago.  As of last weekend, Shami was still level 25.  Yeah.  It took me two months to do the first 25 levels.  It takes the average person three hours, but it took me two months.  I… got very distracted.  Sort of.

HOWEVER!  I found some motivation in the personage of Krista, who decided that her main rogue was not enough rogue-y goodness for her and she needed a baby one, too.  (I understand this mentality, c.f. above re: hunters.)  Because she is not completely derptastic like I am, she did the first twenty levels of her baby hunter in, oh, about five minutes.  As expected.  My shaman, now sitting in the late 30s-ish, started to panic.

Kia’s Brain: You remember when you were leveling Kia and you had like ten or fifteen levels to go?  You’d been playing for a month at the time?

Kia:  …Maybe.

Kia’s Brain:  And then Kotahk ups and rolls that priest of his?

Kia: Please don’t do this to me.

Kia’s Brain: And then you let him beat you to 85 when you only had 10 levels to go and he was starting from scratch?

Kia:  /cry

Kia’s Brain: Let’s not let that happen again, yeah?

So I started to focus.  Now, generally speaking, I am actually quite good at focusing, honestly.  I know it doesn’t sound like I should be, but I am.  I can keep at something and not get distracted by shiny things when I want to, or when it’s important that Krista doesn’t beat me.

However.

There are two major problems I have been facing:

1) I really suck at the heirloom thing.  See, since Kia was the first toon on my new server, obviously I didn’t have the heirloom advantage.  But she’s raiding now and capping valor every week like a good girl (mostly) and doing all sorts of stuff and makes things to sell for gold and all that excellent stuff, so she is quite capable of providing for her younger sisters in the cheatin’ gear department.  So off I went to purchase all the stuff.

Like this staff.   Which led to the following conversation sometime last week.

Kia:  You know the heirloom staff I got for Shami?

Achloryn:  The one that costs 3500 JP?  Sure.

Kia:  I’m pretty sure I just accidentally vendored it.

Achloryn: …you did what?  How did you do that?

Kia:  Well, I was fishing, y’know?  And had my fishing pole equipped.  And then I had to get rid of stuff and and and and… I don’t know how.  It’s just gone.

Achloryn:  /pat

Achloryn:  Open a ticket and get it back.

Kia:  I don’t want to bother, and I’m capped out on JP anyway, I’ll just buy another one.

Kia:  /buys another staff

THREE DAYS LATER:

Kia:  Remember that staff?

Achloryn:  The one you somehow accidentally vendored and then replaced?  Sure.

Kia:  Yeah.  Um.  I didn’t vendor it.  It’s… here in my bank.

Achloryn:  /patpatpat

TWO DAYS AFTER THAT:

Kia:  Hey, aren’t heirlooms supposed to turn into mail after you get the ability to use it?

Achloryn:  Yup.

Kia:  My hat and chest are still leather.

Achloryn:  /strangled cough

Kia:  …What?

Achloryn:  Kia. Those are the druid heirlooms.  They will never turn into mail.  You wanted this and this.

Kia: …oh.  Well, I can get the hat, that’s just gold.

Achloryn:  …but?

Kia:  I’m gonna have to run stuff to get the chest.  I kinda spent all my JP on that staff I didn’t need.

Achloryn:  /patpatpatpat

2) I am totally obsessed with professions.  Kia just dinged (lol, there we go again) 65.  She also just trained Resurgent Healing Potion in alchemy.  Yes, that is the first Wrath recipe that one can make, at 350.  No, I am not in Wrath content yet.  I could have trained it about four levels earlier than what I did, but they wouldn’t let me train Grand Master Alchemist until I hit 65.  The nerve.  I was annoyed.

At this point, I cannot pick any flowers or make any more potions that will give me skill points until I get into Northrend three or four (probably three) levels from now.  This makes me a sad Kia.  I will, however, continue to pick flowers as I run across them.  Because somewhere in the depths of Blizzard, someone once said “The amount of knowledge that one acquires from picking a single flower is roughly equivalent to killing three mobs of similar level”.  And also because… you just never know when you’re gonna need a whole lot of Felweed.

It gets worse.  I haven’t made cooking much of a priority yet – it’s only 278.  And fishing, I’ve barely fished at all, only 146.  But I’ve not been a slacker on First Aid!  I’m 375 there and can’t do anything else until I start picking up frostweave.  When I get to Northrend.  Eventually.

Achloryn:  Tell me again why you are training first aid when you are a shaman and have, y’know, healing spells?

Kia:  Because I believe in being prepared.  You never know what could happen out there.

I should mention one other thing.  Kiashami is the first toon that I have ever dual-specced. I mean it.  EVER.  I had to ask Achloryn how one did it.  I knew about the “talk to your trainer” part, but I didn’t know how to make it change.  I have no idea what possessed me to get a resto spec, because the idea of actually healing anything is ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING, but there it is.  Please don’t ask me to heal your dungeons.  I currently have 17 talent points unassigned in my resto spec.  I don’t know the first thing about healing.  Healing is for people who don’t play HUNTERS.

Which is, as we all know, not me.  I am a hunter.

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This entry was posted in Boyfriend, Kia's Brain, Long Live The Sisterhood. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to In Which Kia Throws Lightning Tantrums

  1. Esmerellda says:

    If it makes you feel better, Lustus has been around since May 30th and he’s only 67…

  2. indigodragyn says:

    Does that mean that I need to work on the baby warlock now?

  3. Esmerellda says:

    KIA STOP LEVELING.

  4. Pingback: So You Want to Play a Resto Shaman? | Pots 'n' Kettles

  5. Kotakh says:

    I really really liked that post.

    Brilliant

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